The Regina I Knew
by oneresilientheart
Summary: Snow and Regina's relationship through the missing year and in Storybrooke (post S03) SnowQueen friendship.
1. Chapter 1

This is not the woman that saved her. This is a less naïve but much stronger woman. Snow admired and honored the woman that saved her; she didn't really get to know that woman very well. She thought she knew. She didn't. She was just too young and was desperate for the presence of a woman in her life, a woman that would subside her need of a mother. That Regina changed quickly, right before Snow's eyes; Snow didn't have time to really know her. She knew that she was brave, selfless and hopeful. But that was at first… Then, she started to change and all of those concepts became a blur.

The woman walking beside her now is different. She's still bold and audacious, she's somehow selfless and whenever possible she hopes. The main difference between the young Regina and the one with Snow now is this: Regina taught Snow about True Love when she truly believed in it, she didn't see the power it had, she only believed. However the Regina walking by her side didn't want to believe but she saw the power of True Love, she experienced it. She felt – feels – it bringing light into the darkness.

Suddenly she's amused by the thought of how the new Regina would teach her about True Love, she thinks the lesson would be even more powerful. She's interrupted by a cough and a very annoyed Regina starring at her.

"Do I amuse you, Princess?"

"Oh!" She was absentmindedly starring at Regina and she didn't notice. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking… remembering."

"Please, save me from some emotional memory you have. I can't handle your sensitiveness right now."

"Of course."

Regina rolled her eyes and all that Snow can do is chuckle and say, " Tell me something, were you always so fresh?"

"Excuse me?! We made amends Snow; it doesn't mean I'm not constantly tempted to light you on fire… once in a while. Don't push me."

"Right. But were you always like this… so fresh? It's quite entertaining."

"Why do you ask?" The regal woman is actually puzzled by the sudden interest. " I had some sense of humor, yes."

"Oh I felt your sense of humor. Believe me. What about before you were the queen?"

Regina eyes her suspiciously.

"I always had the answers in my mind, but my mother wouldn't allow me to say everything I thought. So I suppose I was… fresh? Is that what you said? Are you satisfied now?"

They are walking in the forest. Soon it will be time to set up camp.

"For now. I never really got to know you when I was a kid, did I?"

Regina sighs and stops walking. "Why are you asking me these questions, Snow? What is the problem?"

"I didn't mean to annoy you. I just… I've been remembering a lot of things lately. I suppose being back here is making me wonder about our years in the castle… my life in the forest. And I remember you… a lot. More than I'd expected."

Regina understands, deep inside she's been thinking a lot about those years. Being back brought a lot of memories… good and bad ones.

"You got to know a little of me… if you mean before my heart got darkened. Very little though." She faces forward and resumes walking. Snow follows beside her.

"It took some time for it to become dark, but I struggled every day in the castle with mixed feelings and before I… before your father's death, I pretended things were fine. So I wasn't being myself completely. The Evil Queen was just a result of a darkened and vengeful heart."

"But it wasn't you."

"It became me… And I guess it will always be a part of me."

"What about now? Is this the real you?"

"I know you want her back… I know you've waited and hoped for it. But it won't happen. I'm sorry. I will never… I can't be her. I'm not her anymore."

"I know that. Somehow… you're better now."

"You will never quit being so optimistic, will you? I guess it is… I mean I am. Storybrooke was a way I found to be just Regina… Things got a little off handle when Emma arrived. But, for Henry I was just Regina. I never wanted to be the queen nor have power. But this is who I am… but I can't erase my past."

"Good. Because I know you now."

Snow reached to touch Regina's arm and left to talk to Charming. It was time to set up camp.

Robin made a fire – actually he placed the wood - , one which Regina had no patience to wait for and lit the wood on fire before he could contest. Everyone was heading to their tents. The Merry Men and Charming would do the night patrol; Snow would share tents with Regina. The queen wasn't the happiest, but she agreed.

Before heading to the tent she took a sit on a log and just observed and the queen went to a corner to place a protection spell on the camp.

This woman was different. Snow admired her for the fact that she overcame so much darkness; the fact that she could've killed her so many times but the queen spared her; the fact that she loved so deeply to be willing to give her life to save her son and by doing that would jeopardize a lifetime of attempts to get revenge; the fact that at the end she became a hero, she humbled herself and trusted Snow again. For these things, Snow learned how to love this woman, not as a daughter would love, but as a friend.

Regina passes by her, and then she turns around and says,

"Snow? I'm heading to bed. Are you sure you're all right? You seem a little off… Not that I really care but soon enough someone will think I put a spell on you or something."

"You are more funny than you think, Regina. I'm fine. I'll be there soon."

"Alright then. Good night, Snow."

Snow is sleeping peacefully when she hears a low and soft cry. She opens her eyes and tries to focus. Yes, she can hear even clearer now. She looks at her stepmother and sure enough she's crying in her sleep. Snow gets closer to the woman and she can see she's sweating. Her cries alternate into screams that she mouths but no sound come out of it.

Regina is begging in her dreams "Mother please. Don't do this." Then she's suddenly calling out for Henry and at last she says, "I never wanted this."

Snow tries waking the woman up by touching her.

"Regina. Wake up!" She squeezes her arm but the woman just seems to get deeper in her dreams.

"Regina! It's alright, wake up!" She shakes the older woman gently and the queen flushed her eyes opened, she wakes up as she mouths one last sentence and her back is arching "Are you going to kill me?" that's what she's saying. And suddenly she's gasping for air, a sob coming to her mouth, she's sitting down trying to balance herself. Her eyes are still unfocused. Snow grabs her and holds her against her own body.

"It's okay, Regina. I'm here. You're not alone."

The former queen surrenders to her touch at first. She's not completely awake yet. The images of her nightmares are passing through her mind. She's not sure of who's holding her. Her breathing is harsh and her sight is still blurred, her heart is racing and she can't concentrate.

Regina finally took in the voice that was talking to her. She pushes herself away from her… _friend? Is it what she became_ she thinks to herself.

"Snow?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"I…" Regina stiffens and she is trying very hard to build her composure again. "I'm alright. I apologize for waking you up."

"It's fine. Are you really alright? Do you want some water?"

"I'm fine." It's a lie, one that she can't hide.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about. It was just a dream. I'm sorry I woke you up, you can resume sleeping now." She means to stand up and leave the tent but Snow White holds her and sends her a look full of preoccupation.

"You were crying, Regina and begging. I've never seen you doing neither of those things. You can't possibly be alright."

She sighs, shuffles her sitting position, grabs Snow's hand and places it on the bed… she's running from Snow's touch. "They're only nightmares, Snow. I've had enough of them and I'm a big girl. I'll deal with them."

She's shaking and her breath hasn't get to normal yet.

But if the queen is stubborn, Snow can be obnoxiously stubborn and caring at the same time. So she insists. But decides to give her the option. So, she gives the woman space and sits on her own mattress. She nods pointing to the queen's hands and says,

"You're shaking. Please… tell me what were they about. Why were you asking someone to kill you? And your body was arching as… as it did when you were tortured."

Regina's eyes widened. "How did you know what my body looked like when…"

"I felt it too. That's how we found you. I drank a potion that made me feel everything you were feeling. I felt everything and I smelled fish…"

"Oh… I didn't know… you really saved me."

"I always do, don't I?" She smiles at the other woman.

Regina tries to calm herself and massages her temple. "I dream about it sometimes… about Greg electrocuting me. And… and I ask him just to finish with it… sometimes I feel the pain."

"Me too."

"I didn't know. You shouldn't have done this…"

"That hardly matters now and I don't regret it. What else did you dream about?"

"My mother… losing Henry… Daniel." Regina is tense and her eyes are watering. "I need some fresh air. You should sleep we will have a long day tomorrow." She quickly stands up and leaves the tent.

Snow doesn't stop her this time. She hears when an accented voice greets the queen,

"Your Majesty, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'll get some fresh air."

"It's highly inappropriate for you to go around by yourself, Regina."

"It's Your Majesty. And, I can take care of myself. I can certainly do more damage than your pointy sticks."

Snow hears the sound of the man huffing and woman stepping away. How can someone be so vulnerable and so strong?


	2. Regina and Mary M Deleted Scene

A/N: So this is my take on the deleted scene that was never released. I hope you all enjoy it =)

* * *

><p>Snow steps into Regina's living room,finding her stepmother on the couch by her fireplace.<p>

"Besides you idiots..you _Charmings_ are determined to irritate me and now that you've succeeded,you can stop now."

Snow is a bandit. Most of Storybrooke's population forgets that, constantly. But she's a bandit and she will always be sneaky and observant to her surroundings. In this case, she observed the rare moments when Regina came home in what would be breaks from the Marian's situation.

"It's nice to see you outside that vault too" she smiles as she takes a seat by her side – an uninvited seat by the way her stepmother rolls her eyes.

"What do you want? What is it now? No running water in town?"

"Nothing of sorts."

She snorts " What then?!"

"Have you made any progress in these endless hours in your vault?" Snow is facing the fire mimicking the other woman's position.

"That's none of you're your concern." Regina replies, her voice soft.

Snow shifts, unsettled by the situation and Regina wonders if she has left.

But instead, the girl – that's how Regina will always see her, a naïve, hopeless and spoiled girl, or so she thought – spills out what she's thinking and it comes in an rather aggressive tone that startles the former queen.

"That's where you're wrong. From the very beginning of this. Stop pretending you're alone Regina. You can't fool yourself or anyone for your own sake. You've changed and you know what happened after that?" She looks at the older woman fiercely. "People started to care about you. It brought your son back to you. It allowed me to be with you again. So no! You're not alone because you have a family now, either you accept it or live with it."

"You have no right-"

"Yes I do. Because I care. Because you taught me about true love and you're pretending you don't know how it works. Now, tell me Regina, why? Why are you even bothering to look for a solution in this messy situation of yours? You know what can save Marian and you know she won't have it. Why are you doing this?"

Snow is angry and she can see it. Her former enemy is red with anger; her eyes looking for an answer as if she expected Regina to do or say something further

"I see your red blackened heart allows you more anger and frustration." It's a way to protect herself, pushing the emotions away.

"I never needed darkness to become angry, you should know that. Answer me… please."

"I'm doing this because the man that I love is bound honor to his dead wife. Therefore, I have to save her."

"But there's nothing you can do. She needs true love's kiss and Robin obviously loves you."

"I have to…find a way...to save her, I have to." She quickly looks at Snow and Regina's eyes are full of concern and sadness.

"No, you don't. But you want to and I understand. Regina, what are you planning?" she gently touches the other woman's hand – Regina's hands had been uncomfortably fidgeting on her lap – " Robin can't stop loving you and you can't make someone love you through magic. He would have to fall in love again with her and forget you in the process…"

Regina's eyes become even darker and pensive.

"No… you can't be possibly considering this. Regina, look at me, you can't do this."

"It's my choice, my choice only.

"No it isn't. It's his choice too. Regina, I've been through this situation and it is not pleasant. Whatever is happening now is not worse than the gap that there will be in his or your heart without this love."

"It's the only way." She sighs and pulls her hand away.

"I know it isn't"

"You're insufferable."

"Whatever you do, it's his happy ending too, he has a choice."

"He made his choi-"

"No, he didn't. He followed a code that guided his whole life. Don't do anything idiotic."

"I don't know what to do." She confesses, as Snow looks at her unable how to respond.

"You-I-I mean We'll figure it out! Together!" She grabs her hand again as Regina's eyes follow Snow's movement and then smiles a genuine smile at her.

-Fin


End file.
